Deep thoughts by jack handey if youre in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. With quirky, offbeat humor that often veers into the unexpected, jack handeys witty one liners make this book the perfect funny gift for fans of mitch hedberg or for anyone who appreciates a good dad. Please stop the deep thoughts book deep thoughts by jack handey. They didnt really write about, you know, the election of 1920, which is gone.
Others might recognize the name from a recent new york times article that referr. What id say to the martians by jack handey, 97814022663, download free ebooks, download free pdf epub ebook. If you ever fall off the sears tower, just go real limp, because maybe youll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy. With quirky, offbeat humor that often veers into the unexpected, jack handeys witty one liners make this book the perfect funny gift for fans of mitch hedberg or for anyone who appreciates a. May 11, 2015 before there was internet snark way back in the dark ages of the 90s there were deep thoughts by jack handey. The stench of honolulu by jack handey overdrive rakuten. Your friends and family love the gift of laughter, give it to them with a quick visit to the official jack handey website. Although many people assume otherwise, handey is a real person, not a pen name or character.
Deep thoughts by jack handey one thing a computer can do that most humans cant is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse. Tricking kids, jack handeys deep thoughts on tricking kids. Maybe itll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them. Many people have the false impression that jack handey is not an actual person, but a character created by saturday night live or a pen name used by national lampoon. He was a staff writer for saturday night live, and has won two emmy awards and a writers guild of america award. Thanks to jack handey for being a comedic genius and coming up with these.
And if he asks why god is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, probably because of something you did. Buy a cheap copy of deep thoughts book by jack handey. See more ideas about deep thoughts, thoughts and deep thoughts jack handy. Dec 14, 2010 wow, i forgot how much i loved jack handey. Sometimes i worry what kind of a world we are leaving to the bands of roving mutants who will inherit it. Deep thoughts by jack handey if a kid asks where rain comes from, i think a cute thing to tell him is, god is crying. His other books include the stench of honolulu, what id say to the martians, deeper thoughts, all new, and deepest thoughts. Deep thoughts by jack handey the philosophunculist. Saturday night live used to include these very short bits in between their comedy sketches. If i ever get real rich, i hope im not real mean to poor people, like i am now. Dont ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like i did once, because the faster you go the later you think you are. May 14, 2018 saturday night live used to include these very short bits in between their comedy sketches.
Now jack handey has written a novel, the stench of. A unique collection of handey s deep thoughts irreverent observations on life as seen on saturday night live. Deep thoughts by jack handey deep thoughts by jack handey. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Deep thoughts by jack handey deep thoughts by jack. Once when i was in hawaii, on the island of kauai, i met a mysterious old stranger. Please stop the deep thoughts book deep thoughts by jack. One of my all time favorite comedy writers, greatly under recognized and under appreciated. May 24, 2019 the name jack handey may resonate with you. For several hours, my then 10yearold niece entertained us reading jack handey books aloud by candlelight. Top 30 quotes of jack handey famous quotes and sayings. Deep thoughts by jack handey if you drop your keys into molten lava just let em go cause, man, theyre gone.
A unique collection of handeys deep thoughtsirreverent observations on life as seen on saturday night live. His humor pieces have appeare in the new yorker, outside, playboy, national lampoon, punch, and other publications. Others might recognize the name from a recent new york times article that referred to handey as the envy of every comedy writer in america. He lives in santa fe, nm, with his wife, dog, and cats. He is most famous for his deep thoughts, a large corpus of surrealistic oneliner jokes. The stench of honololuare you a fan of books in which famous tourist destinations are repurposed as unl. Jack handey born february 25, 1949 is an american humorist. We do however want to celebrate the fine work of the distinguished saturday night live writer with this gallery of the thirtyfour. Broken families, jack handey reflects on broken families.
Deep thoughts on personal productivity by jack handey the. Fans of saturday night live may associate the author with deep thoughts, the subversive sliceoflife vignettes that were a popular staple of the program throughout the 90s. Check out all the channels below and see what their jokes for today are, too. Free signed copy of fuzzy memories with each order.
And if you love jack handey quotes, check out runt of the webs other posts on funny quotes and the funniest louis ck quotes. Relaxing music played over pastoral scenes, increasing the feeling that you were watching a very zen relaxation. Deep thoughts were first seen in small comedy magazine army man comics edited by george meyer and continued in national lampoon in 1984 though gained. I pulled out my old deep thoughts book read all the others. With quirky, offbeat humor that often veers into the unexpected, jack handeys witty one liners make this book the perfect funny gift for fans of mitch hedberg or for anyone who appreciates a good dad joke. Jack handey is the author of the bestselling deep thoughts series of books. I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without ha. I just received my shipment of his deep thoughts books business expense, and i discovered his wisdom around personal productivity, and life in general. Deep thoughts on personal productivity by jack handey. Originally, the deep thoughts bits featured the voice of phil hartman rip in the introduction, then jack handey, real guy, would read the surprising, iconic, and always hilarious statements. Jack handey is a brilliant comic and a lovely person who has amassed a legion of fans with his unique brand of comedy. What are the best deep thoughts by jack handey jokes. I have quoted him in my highschool yearbook, facebook profile, twitter, and even a college paper. Im sure there was some great satire about the election of 1920, if that was an election year, but i just prefer.
Funny quotes a funny thing is if youre out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him youre going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend you got bit by a snake. If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, mr. Lucky for you, we have absolutely no intention of answering your questions. Deep thoughts were first seen in small comedy magazine army man comics edited by george meyer and continued in national lampoon in 1984 though gained popularity when they were read on saturday night live beginning in 1991. Deep thoughts by handey, jack, 1949publication date 1992 topics wit and humor, juvenile, american wit and humor. If youre an archaeologist, i bet its real embarassing to put together a skull from a bunch of ancient bone fragments, but then it turns out its not a skull but just an old driedout potato. Deep thoughts by jack handey was an icon of saturday night live in the s.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, letem go. For the uninitiated, deep thoughts was a brilliantly satirical saturday night. The 75 most hilarious homer simpson quotes of all time. Its like each essay is one, long, hilarious deep thought. Open up a new tab with a wonderful and inspiring quote from philosopher jack handey.
Deep thoughts by handey, jack, 1949publication date 1992 topics. Is there a real jack handey deep thoughts by jack handey. I wish there was something called trial by ants, because at the end the guy would say, the ants have spoken. By kelly conaboy september 22, 2017 thats why you like reading benchley and thurber and stuff like that. Get please stop the deep thoughts, the new book from jack handey. What id say to the martians jack handey download free. Deep thoughts by jack handey, 97804253651, download free ebooks, download free pdf epub ebook. He is best known for deep thoughts by jack handey, which appeared on saturday night live. The legendary deep thoughts and new yorker humorist jack handey is back with his very first novela hilarious, absurd, farflung adventure tale. He is best known for his deep thoughts by jack handey, a large body of surrealistic oneliner jokes, as well as his fuzzy memories and my big thick novel shorts, and for his deadpan delivery. He is best known for his deep thoughts, a large body of surrealistic oneliner jokes, as well as his fuzzy memories and my big thick novel shorts. Jack handey download what id say to the martians jack handey ebook deeper thoughts.
Deep thoughts by jack handey really funny clean jokes. I was in ma a few years back visiting family, and the power went out during a storm. The deep thoughts segment would come on with zentype music and viewers were expecting an inspirational moment with a thoughtful quote. The recitation section spreadsheets with our record of your scores for course assignments will. Any jack handey makes a great book and a great easy read when you need to cheer up or tickle your brain a little. Aug 07, 20 the name jack handey may resonate with you. Fans of saturday night live may associate the author with deep thoughts, the subversive. You may be wondering who is jack handey and is he an infomercial product. Sometimes i worry what kind of a world we are leaving to the bands of roving mutants who will inherit. Below are some of his observations i thought youd like. If youre in a boxing match, try not to let the other guys glove touch you lips, because you dont know where that glove. Features gems by jack handey and links to sites featuring jokes, the simpsons and calvin and hobbes. His other books include the stench of honolulu, what id say to the martians, deeper thoughts, more about jack handey.
Deeper thoughts by jack handey, 9781562828400, download free ebooks, download free pdf epub ebook. The book includes essays, some of handey s favorite deep thoughts and fuzzy memories, as well as a great bonus. See more ideas about deep thoughts, thoughts and deep. For instance, i was going to take my little nephew to disneyland, but instead i drove him to an old burnedout warehouse. Ive always been a fan of deep thoughts, but this book is so much more.
A national bestselling collection of comedian jack handeys deep thoughtsshort, funny observations on life that were shown in between sketches on saturday night live. Deepest thoughts by jack handey, 9780786880447, download free ebooks, download free pdf epub ebook. He is a fic tional character created by a fortyfour yearold new york writer whose name, coincidentally, is jack handey. Jack handey born 25 february 1949 is an american humorist. The book includes essays, some of handeys favorite deep thoughts and fuzzy memories, as well as a great bonus. I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they dont just go by size, because i bet there are some. At the bottom youll find links to his the new yorker short stories. Discover and share deep thoughts by jack handey quotes.